Headspace

For those interested in gender issues in the church, Cheryl Lindsey Seelhoff is someone you should know about. She offers a unique perspective on the “quiverfull” movement within some branches of Christianity. (The tenents of quiverfull dictate that children are a blessing of God and that married couples ought not attempt to regulate pregnancies, but instead be open to having any and all children that result from normal married sexual activity. While the movement is not homogenous (there are differing perspectives on when, if ever, prevention of pregnancy is appropriate, whether sterilization reversal is acceptable, etc), it does go further than the Roman Catholic position, which permits a married couple to limit and space pregnancies via periodic sexual abstinence.)

Seelhoff is a former adherent of the quiverfull / Christian patriarchy movement and was both a speaker at homeschooling conferences as well as the publisher of Gentle Spirit, a magazine originally devoted to the tenants of quiverfull and Christian patriarchy. She has published some very interesting commentary on Quiverfull and has recently announced a new blog that will focus on quiverfull. I look forward to seeing the development of this new blog, and wish her much success.

2 Comments »

For various reasons I have been researching the problem of verbal abuse, as well as ways to deflect it. I came upon this gem, which suggests the “Boring Baroque Response” to being verbally baited. I highly recommend it to all my readers!

No Comments yet »

Insight #3

“Self-development programs often concentrate on helping people to distinguish between their “needs” and “wants”. Wants are minimized as something that we have control over and that can be changed via discipline, insight, character improvement, etc. Needs, however, are seldom questioned. When people want to make changes in their lives, they are asked to distinguish between wants and needs such that people focus on their wants and end up paying far less attention to their needs.

But needs (with very few exceptions such as food and oxygen) are also self-constructions. They just don’t seem like it because they appear to us to be crucial to the very foundations of our being. And in some cases, they probably are, but this doesn’t mean that we are going to wither away and die if we challenge them. It does mean, however, that we are going to have to change, oftentimes dramatically, and in ways that are distinctly uncomfortable for us.”

This was a particularly hard area of self-deception for me to work on. In fact, it was a particularly hard area of self-deception for me to even identify. By the time we reach adulthood, we have built an identity that is based on assumptions about what we “need”. This identity (and the assumptions) are the result of life experiences (both positive and damaging, examined and unexamined). The trouble is, while these things may well be “needed” by us, they aren’t necessarily good for us. In order to get healthy (spiritually, physically, mentally, etc) we are going to need to change, and part of that change is going to have to be questioning and (in some cases) dismissing our “needs”.

This is hard to do because we have deceived ourselves into not questioning our “needs” because they are so ingrained in our psyche. Consequently, we think that not feeding a “need” will result in our crumbling into a million little pieces. We also believe that we are entitled to have our “needs” met, even if meeting these “needs” has consistently resulted in negative consequences for ourselves and others. Finally, even if we decide that we are not going to feed a need, or to (gasp) admit that it isn’t a need after all,  we are going to be in for some rough times.

Some very rough times indeed.

No Comments yet »

I’ve been quoted in an article about the Cornerstone Festival. For many years I have maintained the slightly carping Cstonesurvival.com, and apparently am now considered enough of an expert to be cited by a writer for Christianity Today.

I guess I’ve hit the big time.

1 Comment »

The first of my new blogs, Dualtriadian.com is now up and running. The focus of Dualtriadian.com is on adoption issues. Please do stop by and have a look.

Also, I have posted an article on Hubpages about eating out whilst on a diet.

More soon.

No Comments yet »

Continue Reading »

3 Comments »

Heads up, fellow bloggers! TopRankBlog.com, features a list of RSS directories that you can submit your feed  to. Thanks to Shalini for tipping me off to this great resource!

No Comments yet »

Continue Reading »

No Comments yet »

Continue Reading »

3 Comments »

Continue Reading »

No Comments yet »